Truly, this is the son of God

I'm a fan of Jesus.

I like what he preached, like his lessons on life, and like how he did business. And while I'm not one hundred percent convinced that he was actually God in human form, there’s no denying that he was a great human being (one of the best), and one that should be followed. As far as historical figures go, he's at the top of the list of the ones that I respect...

Which is why I'm dressing up as the Lord for Halloween.

It's not the first time I've gone as Jesus for Halloween, but when you have hair that's getting as long as mine is, it's pretty fun to be able to dress as the Messiah.

However, some people don't take too kindly to people dressing up as their God. For some reason, they get agitated and feel like they should pick a fight with whoever the jerk dressed like Jesus is. Last time I dressed as Jesus, it was only because of my dear friend Logan Thomas and his massive build that kept a small group of frat boys from taking out their drunken, right wing, Christian Coalition aggression out on me. When you have a guy that looks like he could give Superman a run for his money at your side, you can get away with practically anything.

But this time, I hope things are different. I hope some drunk redneck comes up to me while I’m out at a party and starts to lay into my face with his fist. I'm not a fan of pain, far from it actually. I find that it hurts very much. That said, though, I just think it would be funny for other people to see some asshole beating up the son of God, making his face a bloody mess and rendering him unconscious. And believe me when I say, I would refuse to throw any punches of my own in self defense. Why? WWJD of course. Turn the other cheek. People see a scene like this, why, that's something they'll take with them their entire lives. Until the day they die, they’ll remember the time that Carl beat the shit out of Jesus Christ.

And like the real Jesus, I’ll leave one Hell of a legacy.