Hi, my name is Chris Brennaman. If you're like me, you want to find that higher calling. You want to work for something greater than yourself and have that feeling of a job well done.
There's good news. I'm now taking applications for the Cult of Brennaman, and I would love to hear from each and everyone of you. I can give you that sense of purpose that's been missing in your life. Why? Because I'm the messiah, that's why.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Chris Brennaman, I've heard this tired song before." True enough, there have been false prophets proclaiming themselves to be a conduit to God, and no one wants another one. That's why in Chris Brennaman's cult, you have the Chris Brennaman seal of approval that I am indeed the real deal. God speaks to me, and I speak to you. It's that simple!
Sign up in the next 30 minutes, and you'll immediatly be given a title like "Grand Warlock" or "Speaker of the Word." Send a check for $100, and you'll get your choice of red, blue or green robes, while everyone else will be wearing the standard white. You'll be the envy of your fellow apostles!
Don't hesitate. Join me today and together we will march forward into the promised land, bringing the wrath of God down on all those who would stand against us. I look forward to working with each and everyone one of you, and know that you feel the same way.
Bye-Bye now,
Chris Brennaman
1 comment:
No, no google bomb this time. This is just a very old antasy of mine and was looking to see if it would work. The bolding of the name is to add importance. Think of it as branding.
Besides, if I wanted to google-bomb myself again, I would write "Chris Brennaman"
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